ASAKE OKIN

I couldn’t believe someone said something like that. I thought it only happens in Nollywood movies. When he walked up to me, I was expecting him to ask for his "owo odun" but he didn't. He wanted to discuss something with me, very unlike me, I listened.. 'Hmmm ehnn Miss Asake, my wife put to bed this morning' He said. Really??? Yes she did. He said. "Congrats o!!! Na to come chop rice be that" I said.   A new born baby, why is this man not excited? Maybe he's owing the hospital?. or his wife has complications? Different scenarios played out in my head   As if he knew what was going on in my head, he said "She gave birth to another girl" Can you believe that is the 4th girl?" he added.... I was shocked.  I wasn't shocking because it is 4th child but with his demeanor. He lamented bitterly on having a girl again, all he wanted was a boy. He was positive his wife cannot give birth to a boy again.   Why s...

Stop the fronting(Nigerian Slang); let me send you on a date. Although a lot of us try to deny it, it sometimes sucks being single... In the past 5years, I think I have been more single than in a relationship. That's me, some say my taste is too high, while others say I should lower my standard. To me, they are saying the same thing. While on holiday in Na, I listened to Toke Makinwa's vlog Xmas in Naija....Time to find a man sharp, sharp with a couple of friends, the following day we went to a wedding and she got a man who has not only taken her on a first date but the second one is around the corner. Since it worked for her, I am going to do something untraditional. Send someone out on an all expenses paid date in a nice restaurant, don't worry the bill is on the date :-)  if you are not in Nigeria, your date can skype you while the meal will be delivered to you.   Wait a minute offers like that don't come easily so  below are my criteria for selecting the lucky...

While on vacation, I dropped by a friend's place with a mutual friend of mine.   We got chatting with her mum and the usual question (when are you getting married) came up. We were very quick to answer -we are praying about it ma. “How do you pray about it? Do you have a list? "her mum asked. A list? "Yes girls you need a list of things you desire in your future husband. This list will be used as prayer points. When praying about it don't forget to find yourself in locations where such men exist." She concluded.   I used to think I knew everything I wanted in my future husband however it’s been difficult writing the list.   Till next time, jot down what you desire in your future spouse...

Asake is becoming a psychologist… lol.. Just a talk buddy! I would never have imagined that people would discuss their relationships with me after reading a post on my blog. When I wrote my last post Kwanza Keji , three of my friends were positive I wrote their stories, funny enough I knew just one story and could not write about it because I would cry… She has been through a lot, most people go through alot, their ways of handling it differs May your road be rough   that seems to be the only phrase I remember from six years of reading six different Practical English course books No journey is smooth not even on a private jet flight as your prediction on the weather condition or pilot’s mood wouldn’t be 100% Everyone has their fair share of rough patches, heartbreak, penniless, even those born in a rich home, those who married their first love, and those who got pregnant after their wedding ceremony. We don’t have it all… Love your creator, Love yourself. According to I...

First of all, go down low... Couple of months ago, I wrote about making the first move in Kwanza and now…… Born in a country where men making the first move is the norm ( I mean guy toasting the girl ). I have always waited for the guy to ask me out. 90% guys I really like end up not asking me out. When the ones you don’t like ask you out and you turn them down, some say you are too choosy Few months ago, I met an amazing guy, You know those forever-like kind of guy ? We instantly clicked and I am certain we will make a good couple. It has been 8months and 16days, he hasn't made a move. Asake, do you think I should ask him out? Till next time, don’t be afraid to make the first move, it is either a “yes or a no” don’t settle for maybe. Kwanza: means first Keji: means two or second.

It started like a joke, initially we didn't take it serious but later we couldn't control it, we became inseparable, there was hardly anyone who didn't know we were together even if they had met only one of us, we thought the same way, talked the same way, I was his common sense. I taught him all he knew about relationship and He taught me patience. The road was smooth, each time we had an argument or misunderstanding as soon as we sighted one another, the misunderstanding was over. I was always quick to beg because he was a novice in relationships, then one day we had a major argument, he walked out and none of us was ready to resolve or take the blame( in Akon voice) a week turned to two, three, four then five. Before the argument I was bereaved and he didn't understand, all he wanted was my attention which I couldn't give him. It boils back to experience. I called him up one day, to inform him I was travelling to Chicago the next day. He was shocked I was a...

It seemed like a burden which was greater that what their soul could bear but Allah is the Master plan. The story of Ibrahim, Sarah, Hajar, and Ismail taught me a lot of things Faith, Obedience, Trust and Hardwork. When the workload, relationship and life looks too hard, remember Ibrahim was thrown into the fire, Ismail was about to be sacrificed by his father, Sarah had given up on having a child, Hajar was left with her little boy in the barren land. Did He not cool the fire for Ibrahim? Did He not replace sacrificing Ismail with a ram? Did He not bless Sarah with Ishaq? Did He not provide water(Zamzam) for Hajar and Ismail in a barren land. Having challenges? Don't give up, remember we shall all be tested. Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than what we have the strength to bear. Eid- Mubarak

Gone are those days when most mothers I knew (with the inclusion of mine) were civil servants. This gave them time to be 'home-markers'. Nowadays, some husbands and wives spend equal amount of time at work leaving their kids in care of nanny or granny. Food is usually prepared during the weekends, dished in the freezer and microwaved on need basis. One of my fasting days, I got home extremely tired. Since I was fasting I decided to pick my lunch from the canteen with the intention of using it as dinner. While speaking with my friend on the phone, he asked what I planned fasting with the next day and my response was Garri or water. He laughed and suggested I used noodles. I told him I didn't like the flavour I had at home. Go and buy another flavour" he suggested. I am too tired to stand up, I said. "What if you were married and your husband wanted dinner tonight nko?" He asked. And I responded “I will tell him I am too tired tonight". He go...

Don't use someone's wealth or situation as your prayer point, God might have something better for you. Kai, Asake has gone spiritual..But the quote above is very true. A lot of people use someone's situation as their prayer point, not knowing how the person got his wealth and what the future holds for the person. As a child, I saw the very rich and the not so rich. Now as an adult, I have seen the not so rich transform into very rich. There's a point in life when people struggle. There's also a point in life when people reap. I once watched a Yoruba movie where 2 out of 3friends became very rich. The rich ones kept loosing family members and were convinced the poor one was using Vodoo on them. What happened? Some years back, they walked by a big mansion and they prayed to God to bless them as he blessed the owner of the mansion. While the 3rd one said Let God bless him the way God wants. Guess what? Two of them were blessed just like the owner of the man...

I have always heard the word but it didn't capture my attention till someone was convicted and executed for murder. When the family of the slan man was asked how they felt about the death penalty, the mother said "closure" - knowing fully well that her son's killer is finally gone and she can walk freely without the fear of bumping into him. She attended the lethal injection judgement to be sure the accused died. A friend of mine has an amazing boyfriend who she never seize to display his pictures on her dp and brag about anytime we hung out. Earlier in the year, I had two tickets for a lovey dovey musical event which I wasn't interested in, since she is in a relationship I decided to pass it on to her, "my boyfriend is out of town" she said. I gave out the tickets. For some unexplainable reason, I had to be at the event then I bumped into her boyfriend with another chic. My brain wasn't too quick to process who he was till she pinged me, "I h...

First of all, go down low. There are many first in our lives. First born, first boyfriend, first position in class, first to reach the finish line and also first to go down low. "Asake, you can't keep pinging him. If he's interested or if he misses you he will surely come around, if he doesn't then let him be." Lolu said. "Bilqees there has to be a balance, if you are the one always communicating, be ready to continue that if you get married.  If he can't meet you at the midpoint, then maybe you should just let go" Chi said. I remember putting up "if he's not meeting you at the midpoint, you need to rethink your relationship" as personal message on my BBM. It generated lots of ping but Debola’s ping was very different. He asked “U r qualified to give relationship advice because?" My response- Haven't you noticed divorcée give the best relationship advice. "No they don't, they tend to give stupid advices that...

I wrote a different post with this title, it was one of the post referred to in no backup   I am sure today's post is a Taboo to a lot, kindly accept my heartfelt apologies if you go ahead with the post I sat with her today, we had ice-cream. Ice-cream? “Is she heartbroken?” He asked. “Yes, I don't understand why he keeps behaving like this” I said “Is she feeding him?”He asked. “Trust my friend now, she's top chef of Lagos o!” I replied “ Asake!!, I am not taking about food o? Is she sleeping with him?” He asked “Haba Babe, you know her, don't touch my body jo jo. She’s not sleeping with him. I am very sure she’s not sleeping with him” I responded “Yawa, he's either eating out or about to eat out? Has she found out how important sex is to him?” He asked. “They fight whenever she sleeps over, he feels she's depriving him of his property. He keeps saying he owns it now and forever. I wonder why he can't just propose to her, I ...

We usually do a lot of shopping – shoes, clothes, groceries, make-up, weaves, bags, boyfriends and even husband. Sometimes, Yoruba people say– May your husband not be just a boyfriend and vice versa. It means May you marry the right person...   All I know is one girl’s boyfriend will be another girl’s husband. For a couple of weekends, we engaged in window shopping for cars and the “a single girl can’t get this car or that car always pops up”. I love the RAV4 - I said. You will have to wait till you get married, your husband will buy and handle the maintenance cost another person said. My friend, if you buy this car, what do you expect your boyfriend to drive? I was asked.   To get a good man, you have to tone down oo!   I had to change my car to a smaller one, a friend confessed. This is serious business o. An unmarried girl has to remain humble car-wise – Kai , Asake, hope you won’t carry last o!!!! Lol I understand a sizeable number of guys have complexes but I...

I have included Swahili in most of my post. I decided to title this post in my native language. Ko to gba means before acceptance.   This post should have preceded Tuende Ngoja however inspiration comes at different times. If you recently left a relationship or you are about to start a new relationship. This might or might not come in handy. *Feel free to scroll through* Some say opposite attract, I will say a perfect balance should attract. Your partner should never be too different from you. Balance = compatibility. Balance here should be defined as the ability to withstand some certain behaviours which your partner "posses” and are not similar to your behaviour. How will you know? It’s an old way. Investigation. I have always wondered why Muslims in the time of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) were able to marry within a short period. The Why- because of no fornication, you can't be around an opposite sex without a chaperon and early marriage is encouraged.   A h...

Usually, when I am working at our head office, I leave home at 6.45am. However since it is a Monday, I decided to leave at 6.30am. Usually, I will stand at my junction for about 10minutes then I will get a bus however after standing for 17minutes; I decided leave for the bus stop. I waited another 15minutes and didn't get a bus. Why are all the buses full and where are all the cabs?  I decided to return to my junction then called the best person ever, my mom. Why didn't you enter any bus she asked, I explained to her what had happened and she advised I take a bike forward. Then I took a Marwa forward but still no space in buses, Marwa or cabs. I spoke to my mom again, her advice, keep moving forward, just trek... I walked to a taxi park then got a cab 2hours after leaving home. My usual 1hr: 15mins Monday morning journey became 2hrs:30mins with 571% increase in usual transport fare.  That's my Monday Morning Madness...         ...

It’s abit emotional. It feels like an achievement, I had just informed them about my graduating GPA when they promised to send me a token. Honestly,  I was expecting cash but when my elder sister started taking about serial number and battery. I knew it was an electronic device. When Eniola informed me of her arrival, I was very excited about my graduation weave(cover face) the very first time I wore that weave everyone love it so I made a decision I was going to wear it for graduation (guess I won't be needing a weave for my next graduation). My elder sister searched the whole of Lagos and I got mad each time she suggested a different one. I must have gone either Marvey or Chiaka to Eniola's apartment.. When I opened the parcel, I was blown away and it wasn't the weave but the token. Safricom was selling it for about 28k then while Orange sold it for 27k. I remember Ini hugging me in the cafeteria when she saw mine and requested for my pin.  I was complaining of not havin...

Tuesday it was; the cross over finally happened. I can’t remember the last time I stayed up to usher in the New Year. When I was much younger, I used to shower at 11.50pm on 31 st December. Old things have passed away.     Last year on 31 st December, I fell asleep while alternating between CSI: NY and The Return Of Jenifer ( TROJ ). Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!, it is not my birthday naw, why is my phone ringing at mid night. I struggled to get out of bed to pick it; it was my older brother wishing me Happy New Year. I went back to bed immediately. As usual, I woke up to loads of sms and blackberry messages. I don’t make New Year resolution, I just have a to do list. Guess I am not the only one that doesn’t make New Year Resolution, even PHCN doesn’t. They blinked light at 6.46pm. There are loads of things to look forward to in 2013 ·          Don’t lose hope; God can bless you with the fruit of the womb. ·   ...