ASAKE OKIN

It is not that they do not care. It is just that they do not know how to bring up the conversation. They saw how excited you were when you started the journey. They saw how sad you were when you were unable to complete it. They are not sure if bringing it up will trigger you. They chose to keep quiet out of care. Some of them will call to have random conversations. Some of them will avoid calling because they are afraid they will bring it up. They might not be able to walk a mile in your shoes, but their feet also hurt. It is not that they do not care. It is not that they were hiding it. It is not that they did not value your relationship. It is just that they want to get to their destination before announcing it. They have been on this journey before but never got to the destination. While you cared to ask for the details then. The details sometimes became overwhelming when shared. And sharing led to comments like why didn’t you, you should have, next time try. Comments like that some

My name is Bilqees, that is the spelling on my birth certificate which was issued 11 days after my birth in the late 80s.  According to Islamic history, it is the name of the Queen of Sheba.  Blessed with different spelling variations, one of the first things my mother told me about my name was if an official document issued to you  is not spelt - B-I-L-Q-E-E-S then that document doesn’t belong to you. Well, I almost got kicked out of primary school because the accountant spelt my name wrongly on the school fees payment receipt and I refused to collect it.  Aunty Maggie, the accountant insisted on not writing me a new one, so I left her office. Some weeks later, I was not allowed on the school premises because I was not with the receipt.  I tried to explain but I was sent home, I am not sure AbdulGaniu (my older brother) realized I was not allowed into the school premises. I went back home and my Grandma (May Allah grant her Al-janah Fridaous) followed me to school and said – “My daugh