Monday, 17 June 2013

Closure


I have always heard the word but it didn't capture my attention till someone was convicted and executed for murder. When the family of the slan man was asked how they felt about the death penalty, the mother said "closure" - knowing fully well that her son's killer is finally gone and she can walk freely without the fear of bumping into him. She attended the lethal injection judgement to be sure the accused died.

A friend of mine has an amazing boyfriend who she never seize to display his pictures on her dp and brag about anytime we hung out. Earlier in the year, I had two tickets for a lovey dovey musical event which I wasn't interested in, since she is in a relationship I decided to pass it on to her, "my boyfriend is out of town" she said. I gave out the tickets. For some unexplainable reason, I had to be at the event then I bumped into her boyfriend with another chic. My brain wasn't too quick to process who he was till she pinged me, "I heard the event is out of this world, I wish my baby was around" she wrote.

I almost wrote your baby is around but not with you, then I decided to let go.. It might be his sister or colleague. I thought. But I hinted her, Babes; saw someone that looks like your Kachi at the event. "Impossible, I am picking him from the airport in two days time". She said

Few weeks after, the complaining started. "He doesn't do this and that..My colleague saw him in Ikoyi but he told me he's out of town, he was seen kissing a girl that got the bouquet at a wedding by her brother. Then recently he was seen at our favorite bar with the one girl- the same one my brother saw at the wedding" Layo lamented. He promised to pick me up after work, we spoke few minutes before 9pm. Now that am ready, his phones are switched off. A week later, he hasn't called to explain what happened. He didn't care how I got home.

Asake, you wouldn't believe, Yolanda dropped her man at the airport, few hours later, all his friends on her blackberry messenger list were congratulating him.  She asked why he was being congratulated instead of responding, they all deleted their pm. She visited his facebook and his status was engaged to......" Mwiti said.

According to Yolanda, she can't move on without any explanation. The ex boyfriend said she did nothing wrong, he just made his choice. She wasted 5years with him.

"I really don't understand, we were talking about marriage last weekend, I was going to propose yesterday but she broke up with me, without a reason. I used to think I was what most girls wanted- good job, fat pay package, moving into my own house end of the month, prayers regularly, not choosy about food and I love having fun. She said I did nothing wrong, she loves me but can't continue the relationship. I almost threw the ring on her, I have never being this mad in my entire life" Eno said.

"Asake, I can't tell my husband, I have to get rid of this pregnancy, he said nothing else comes out of my womb apart from girls"Nne said. We have 6girls and we decided not to have more kids. I can't believe that family planning coil didn't work, I got it for 60k, she added.

Surprisingly  Nne gave birth to twin boys, she was very happy even her mother in law came to visit her at the hospital however her husband requested for a DNA test to confirm if the boys are his. The test came out positive, he fathered the boys but that did not stop her husband from moving out of their matrimonial home as soon as she was discharged from the hospital.

The boys are 4years old today and have never seen their dad physically. He takes good care of the girls but has never spent a dim on the boys. Nne is still dumbfounded. She has never understood the need for the DNA test and the abandonment.

We sometimes see judgement or answers as closure. Awhile ago, I needed closure myself, it drew me back from achieving some goals but after speaking about it, since the person with the answers was not reachable, I decided to give myself the needed closure and move.

It is hard moving on without answers however you can't remain stagnant because of closure. Keep in mind we are not the same, not everyone has a reason for behaving the way they did.

Till let time, ask the right questions, get the needed closure and if you can't, force yourself to closure that chapter of your live and move on..

This post is dedicated to that amazing lady whose boyfriend is boldly two timing her.

7 comments:

  1. Hey writer, great post! But from experience it is best to just close the chapter and be happy moving forward. The past is just the past, wondering doesn't do any good

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  2. Thumbs up †o you Asake, am so speechless

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  3. Ur post is beautiful,U r really a Blessed Jewel and God keep Blessin u as u put us thru the tins goin on in our world esp in Relationships. U shud v a TV prog Sis n ul surely Blow. I'll cont 2 be of support, can't wait 2 see u sis

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  4. Hey... I'm sure this is what we have all had to deal with or dished out at some point ... One of life's most important lesson "is what would be would be" . No need crying and hurting after all devil was once an angel, so deal with betrayals if it ever comes.... WITH A CLOSURE!!!

    ...Tanto CRAINES

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  5. I'm confused. He complains she gave him no sons, and she finally gives him twin sons and he bails? I don't get it.

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  6. @ Anonymous 09:00

    Sometimes, we dont get the needed answers. Till date, she cant explain why he left and he is not speaking about it...

    She has to forge ahead and give herself the necessary closure

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  7. Hmmmm!! It's so hard closing that chapter! I had an experience and couldn't let go until he came back to apologise! Even during apology, he could not explain why he dropped me off @ my house nd never called until 2 years after!! It's crazy.... Asake I can totally relate to this post.. great write up.

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