Monday, 30 December 2013

close shop

I couldn’t believe someone said something like that. I thought it only happens in Nollywood movies. When he walked up to me, I was expecting him to ask for his "owo odun" but he didn't. He wanted to discuss something with me, very unlike me, I listened.. 'Hmmm ehnn Miss Asake, my wife put to bed this morning' He said.


Yes she did. He said.

"Congrats o!!! Na to come chop rice be that" I said.

A new born baby, why is this man not excited? Maybe he's owing the hospital?. or his wife has complications? Different scenarios played out in my head

As if he knew what was going on in my head, he said "She gave birth to another girl" Can you believe that is the 4th girl?" he added.... I was shocked.  I wasn't shocking because it is 4th child but with his demeanor. He lamented bitterly on having a girl again, all he wanted was a boy. He was positive his wife cannot give birth to a boy again.

Why should I be happy? He asked me. She gave birth to another girl, we waited 6years before trying  again and all she could produce is a girl.. Another girl, the fourth girl, I have a house full of girls. girls.Obinrin..Obinrin He concluded

When he concluded, I was speechless.

In 2013, people still think about gender? I was very bothered. I told everyone I saw about it. That man doesn't know what he has, Lade said. My best friend who happens to be my 50years old aunty  and has been married for 31years has never missed her period. She recently called to inform me about reaching menopause and she's convinced she can't have any child. Her husband has had almost 5 women in the last 10 years and guess what? None got pregnant. He's medically ok, said the doctors. Do you know how happy my aunt will be if she had 4girls? Lade asked.

I can go on and on about couples married for several years without a baby, some had series of miscarriage while others have never missed their period.

A friend of mine once wrote: gratitude is an attitude.. Be grateful for what you have cause some have none..

My mother, my sisters, my nieces, my aunties, my grandma...Khajidat (AS), Aisha(AS), Mary mother of Jesus, Margaret Thatcher, Mother Teresa ,Michelle Obama, Malala Yousafza... What if they were born male, would they have achieved much?

I attended a University where admission was 60:40 in favour of women; we are in a society where diversity in the board room is becoming very necessary.  At the same time, everyone is looking for the second gender to close shop; the shop is open till you have both genders as children.

Invest in your daughters; she might rule the world one day... every child is a blessing

I look forward to the day when people can close shop irrespective of the gender of their kids...



  1. It's so unfortunate. But I think deep down most of us, when it come right down to making that choice, we all crave for both. Maybe not with preference over either, but certainly both.

    Interestingly, and thankfully so, I know a few young couples whom after 2 or 3 girls, have mutually agreed they have 'closed shop' in that department.

    1. Consciously or not, we all crave for both..

  2. We leave in a world that is male gender favoured from the time immemorial. I can't remember any female Prophet from my many years of reading the holy Quran and the wrong perception on priotizing male child as an African is not helpful. For me, both are equal.


  3. if all men will be like my dad sha....the man has 3 beautiful girls and he's not bothered about having a male child.
    the interesting thing is that he is closer to us than our mum.

    either male or female.....a child is a child!!!


  4. Hmm. Oh well, d thing is even where both parties agree to 'close shop', they get pressures from friends and families to 'try again maybe u will have a son'. Sadly my cousin fell under such pressure and unfortunately, she died during childbirth of d 'try again' baby. Ofcours that was her destiny but the thot of dat alone....*sigh*. if u v been given a child and u still lament over sex, u must have some super ungrateful attitude. I v a lot of frnds still childless till date so I dare not lament. I am happy with what Allah has given me. What if u have that son and he gives u no peace of mind? Why not pray to God to give u a child (watever sex) dat will b a blessing to u.