Saturday, 21 September 2013

Kazi nani?

Gone are those days when most mothers I knew (with the inclusion of mine) were civil servants. This gave them time to be 'home-markers'.

Nowadays, some husbands and wives spend equal amount of time at work leaving their kids in care of nanny or granny. Food is usually prepared during the weekends, dished in the freezer and microwaved on need basis.

One of my fasting days, I got home extremely tired. Since I was fasting I decided to pick my lunch from the canteen with the intention of using it as dinner. While speaking with my friend on the phone, he asked what I planned fasting with the next day and my response was Garri or water. He laughed and suggested I used noodles. I told him I didn't like the flavour I had at home. Go and buy another flavour" he suggested. I am too tired to stand up, I said.

"What if you were married and your husband wanted dinner tonight nko?" He asked. And I responded “I will tell him I am too tired tonight". He got so angry he ended the call.


Asake, are you sure you want to marry a Nigerian man? "a colleague asked" But he has to be considerate nah, I work about 8hours a day, I will drive for about 2hours, get home take care of the kids, cook and still do wifely duties, I be machine" I asked him.. He laughed and said your job is to do all those, it is now left for your husband to be considerate.. It is not in your place to dictate what you want. You are a Yoruba girl and I am sure your religion also teaches total submission to your husband. He added.
I couldn't help but wonder if women are super-human.. I fear marriage o!

Should we revert to the woman civil service days ; have flexible working hours for women ; just ask us to stay at home( stay at home ke, after all the millions our parents spent sending us to school) or just go back to what our religion books preaches?

Just as I was wrapping up this post, I got this from my friend Oyin(HML in advance :-) make sure your boo reads this o)

"In a family where the husband earns #150,000 every month, and the wife earns #1million every month and they both work in d same company while their kids are lacking parental care and love. Who amongst them should resign to take care of the kids?" You be the judge.

Till next time, be considerate to your wife or married subordinate...
 

*kazi means job
*nani- means who or whose

6 comments:

  1. Non should resign rather bring granny around(dou it depends nd varies ).

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  2. It depends on d understandn btw them. I know a couple of homes that the wife earns more than the husband bt one wld neva knw bcos she's submissive to d hubby.

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  3. Well! First is we all have different opinions, and I respect your opinion and your write up. However I have a contribution.
    First about the wife.... Working hours and wifely duties. This depends on the man. I'll categorize us into 4 categories. The educated and literate(best but scarce), educated and illiterate, uneducated and literate and uneducated and illiterate (worse). Its now dependent on the category your man falls. Our culture assumes that the woman must do all the house duties, but a good husban knows she needs help and a good wife knows vice versa. Helping with her duties she feels a sense of accomplishment and knows are efforts are not going unnoticed. Imagine a scenario where they live in a mansion! Woule a man expect her on a saturday to do his lundry, cook, clean the house, dust cobwebs, dry cloths? And he just wakes up like where is my food. Honestly if she no put lazative for such breakfast.... She's not a good wife. Its just like we men! If you keep coming to ask of money and criticize us when we are broke, one dey we would tell u say don't u know more than bring bring bring?
    So its my personal opinion! We both need assistance! A lady should assist the man nd the man should do so as well.

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  4. Wife resigning for husband..... Husband resigning for wife.... None is necessary cos they want to take care of the cildren. I actually grew up in such a situation and I still felt parental love! Mostly from my mum thou. My dad happens to be the wife must do all type and my mum works late. But one thing I respected and learnt, her weekends was all about us... Takes us out, it was national theater that was in vogue then, next weekend na beach, nd even when we don't go out we sit and gist like we r mates.we started seeing our saturdays as get together days and till now, that's how me, my brothers and sister keeps handing out most weekends(at least, once in two months). This way she didn't need to tell us to understand that she's working for us and as well she has our time. She didn't break the family bond cos of work, she put in extra. So the husband and wife should take their time and get to spend time with their children whenever they are at home, they shouldn't use it to sleep or keep working. This would help. My opinion thou

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  5. The comment by anonymous compliments the write-up. My woman can't stay home all day. And as such, I won't expect her to do all the chores, as she shouldn't expect me to cuff out all the money.We should help each other and marriage would be fun. If she works late, only suggest resignation if you are ready to foot all the bills.If not, support and help out with the house chores.

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  6. The comment by anonymous compliments the write-up. My woman can't stay home all day. And as such, I won't expect her to do all the chores, as she shouldn't expect me to cuff out all the money.We should help each other and marriage would be fun. If she works late, only suggest resignation if you are ready to foot all the bills.If not, support and help out with the house chores.

    ReplyDelete