Those Who Stepped Up

Have you ever encountered someone who steps up to help children in need when they lose one or both of their parents or guardians?

Growing up, there was a family that always had a full house. It wasn't until I was in secondary school that I realized who their biological children were. This family was always ready and willing to assist others, particularly children who had lost a parent or both parents.

I remember when a relative of mine passed away, leaving behind several children. None of her siblings could single-handedly care for all her children, so they divided the responsibilities among themselves. Each of the siblings took in one of the children.

"Asake, I'm ready to get married now. My parents married early but struggled with infertility until their 40s. They had our youngest sibling when they were in their late 50s. I started working at a young age to help take care of my siblings, and now that our youngest is finishing up university, I feel like I'm in a position to take care of a wife," Deolu explained.

"Asake, it’s been tough lately. When my brother passed away, so many people promised to help me take care of my nephews. Unfortunately, none of them have followed through. To make matters worse, my fiancee recently broke off our engagement because she sees my nephews as financial burdens. Their mother remarried and couldn't take them along, so she left them with me. I'm doing my best to provide for them with my small salary and the profits from my side hustle, but it's barely enough. Almost 85% of my income goes towards meeting their needs, and sometimes I wish someone could just offer me some financial support. But no matter what, I can't imagine abandoning them. My brother was the best. I owe it to him to make sure his sons are taken care of," Ken said.

"When someone dies, things change. You know, I was raised by my uncle, and his wife took care of me like I was one of her own children from day one. She even resigned from her job as soon as I came to live with them, and she never treated me any differently than her biological children, even when they came along. My uncle has sponsored so many people from our village who now live abroad or in big Nigerian cities. I thought maybe some of them would help out because things are tough without him. It has been a long time since my aunt worked, and her industry has changed significantly, making it difficult for her to find a job. So now, I'm the breadwinner of this household, and it's been a real struggle. If you see me, abeg, give me a fat envelope; I need money," Hazimah said.

In many parts of Nigeria, it's common for surviving relatives to take on the responsibilities of children left behind by deceased family members. Unlike in some countries, there's little involvement or assistance from the court or social services in this arrangement. But despite the challenges, there are countless heartwarming stories of relatives who stepped up to provide for these children. Today, I celebrate people like Ken, Hazimah, and Deolu who have risen to the occasion.

Within your circle, there are stories like those of my friends. Please, let’s make a conscious effort to extend a helping hand to them, as they may be going through hard times. Losing a breadwinner or financier can be devastating, and it's easy for people to feel alone and unsupported. Whether it's through financial assistance, emotional support, or simply being there to listen, we can all play a part in helping those who are struggling.

Till next time, please remember to include these loved ones in your giving plans!