Ẹwa

Have you ever felt guilty after reading a post?

After reading a deep religious post, I sometimes feel guilty and reassess my relationship with my maker. However, a few weeks ago, I felt guilty after reading a non-religious post

"I am very sorry for calling you fat girl," I wrote to my friend.
"No problem dear," she said.
We kept chatting, and I told her why I apologized. She was surprised it had nothing to do with Ramadan. The apology was inspired by the 
postWe often joked about her weight, I call her fat girl, and we usually laugh about it. My friend reached out to me a couple of months ago about size; she has gained significant weight since she started working. She had tried different types of diet, but none worked. I think the weight gain suits her more than her previous "stringo" size. 
She has always been chubby. As a child, she was bigger than her older sister. Although I am taller than her, we wear the exact size of clothes.  One day, I went shopping and changed my mind about the outfit after leaving the store. Instead of returning it, I told myself my niece would wear it. We usually tease her about her weight. Her mum once said Bami eats very healthy food; unlike her other daughter, who is slim, watches her weight, and eats junk, Bamo eats proper food. I wonder if our usual teasing pressures Bami to starve herself and become skinny? Does she feel her sister's size is the acceptable size? Do we make her think she is wrongly sized?

"Asake, can you believe one of my colleagues asked when I am due? He thought I was pregnant? I couldn't answer; I just froze. I used to think I was a skinny person with a perfect size, but when he asked, I had to get a weighing scale in my bathroom. I realized I wasn't gaining significant overall weight, but 
my tummy was getting bigger. So now, I am looking for tummy-slimming tea," ID concluded. 

I joined the gym couple of weeks ago, and some of my colleagues could not understand what I was doing there. One said, "it is good to keep fit" I smiled and told her my goal was to make my tummy flatter. If you know me, you will know my tummy often competes with my neck size-wise. After reading the post, I realized the power of passing comments on people's bodies. For example, a friend once asked me if I ate after 7pm. Then went ahead to explain that my tummy appears bigger and suggested I do situps often. More than three years since we last connected, I am still working on getting a flatter tummy. 
I sometimes look out for calories in my meals and attempt to do situps. I finally joined a gym and selected a pro-tummy reduction gym equipment. 

Do you remember Sheila from Why did I get married? Her husband's comments influenced what she ate, wore, means of transportation, and her self-esteem? Do you remember how her second husband's word of encouragement motivated her to maintain the shape she wanted? 



Many people struggle with self-esteem, and unsolicited comments about their bodies may further lower their self-esteem. Also, some people would never have considered body enhancement surgeries if someone did not make a funny comment about their body features. 

Be healthy. Know your BMI - love your body, and remain healthy.

Till next time, remember not everyone is Christina Aguilera – Words do bring people down even though they are beautiful, so do not take them down with your comments.
wa means beauty in Yoruba – (my mother's tongue)

Edited by Opeyemi “Opson” E. Dada                                                    

Comments

  1. Nice one Billy, v had my friends criticize me badly n lowered my esteem about my weight esp my tummy but the funny thing is that am not fat but ma tummy makes me look so( Am prettier than they are & that's so much advantage,Lol).
    Ur blog has encouraged me not to imagine wat pple tink bout me but to make myself happy as that's more important.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the warm comment. I am sincerely humbled.
      Although it might seem difficult however do not let anybody’s comment lower your self esteem or your morale – Your morale must always be between medium and high.
      You are beautifully made, if you want to maintain a certain weight – make sure it is an “healthy weight” (you don’t want to be underweight or overweight – you can use BMI http://www.heartfoundation.org.au/healthy-eating/Pages/bmi-calculator.aspx to calculate this) but most importantly, make sure it is what you want for you.

      Delete
  2. Ride on Bill...Nice post. Got me thinking....we actually do not have control of the circumstances surrounding our birth, skin colour, demographics, etc. So i guess it pays nothing to be judgmental. As the Good book put it, we are wonderfully and fearfully made.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Chinedu, yes - we do not have to be judgemental

      Delete

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