Monday, 11 August 2014

Ẹwa

Have you ever felt guilty after reading a post?

Most times, after reading a deep religious post, I feel guilty and reassess my relationship with my maker however few weeks ago, I felt guilty after reading a non-religious post

“I am very sorry for calling you fat girl” I wrote to my friend.
“No problem dear” she said.
We kept chatting and I told her why I apologized. She was surprised it had nothing to do with Ramadan. My friend had reached out to me a couple of months ago about size; she has gained weight since she started work. Jokingly, I usually call her fat girl and we do laugh about it .She had tried different diet but none worked. Funny enough, the weight gain suits more than her “stingo” size.
She has always been chubby, as a child she was bigger than her older sister.  Although I am taller than her, we do wear the same size of clothes- one day I went shopping and changed my mind about the outfit after leaving the store, instead of returning I told myself Bamo will wear it. We usual tease her about her weight, her mum once said Bamo eats very healthy food, unlike her other daughter who is slim, watches her weight and eat junks, Bamo eats proper food. I wonder if our usual teasing puts pressure on her to starve herself and become skinny? Does she feel her sister's size is the acceptable size? Do we make her feel she is wrongly sized?

“Asake, can you believe one of my colleagues asked when I am due? He thought I was pregnant? I couldn’t answer him, I just froze. I used to think I was skinny person with a perfect size but when he asked, I had to get a weighting scale in my room. That was when I realized I wasn’t gaining weight but my tummy was getting bigger. I am looking for tummy slimming tea” ID concluded.

I joined the gym couple of weeks ago and some of my colleagues could not understand what I was doing there. One said “it is good to keep fit” I smiled and told her my goal was to make my tummy flatter. If you know me, you will know my tummy is competing with my neck when it comes to size, it is almost non-existing.
After reading the
post , I realized the power of passing comment when it comes to people’s body. I had just started NYSC when my boyfriend asked me if I ate food after 7pm. “Baby, of course I do, the staff bus usual get to my bus-stop between 7.30 and 8.30pm” I said. No wonder your tummy is getting bigger. The next time we spoke, he suggested I do sit ups. More than 3years after the relationship ended, I am still working on getting a flatter tummy, I look out for calories and sometimes attempt to do sit ups. I finally joined a gym and work with pro-tummy reduction gym equipment

Do you remember Sheila from “Why did I get married”? How her husband’s comment affected what she ate, wore, means of transportation she took and herself esteem?  And do you remember how her second husband's words encouraged her to maintain the shape she wanted?


A lot of people are already struggling with their self-esteem, then we pass comment that lowers it further, some people would never have considered boob job, if someone didn’t make a comment about their boobs, some people would not have bought buttocks (nyash) pad, if you didn’t call them flat.

Be healthy - know your BMI - love your body and remain healthy
Till next time, remember not everyone is Christina Aguilera – Words do bring people down even though they are beautiful, so do not take them down with your comments.
wa means beauty is Yoruba – (my mother tongue)

Edited by Opeyemi “Opson” E. Dada                                                    

7 comments:

  1. Nice one Billy, v had my friends criticize me badly n lowered my esteem about my weight esp my tummy but the funny thing is that am not fat but ma tummy makes me look so( Am prettier than they are & that's so much advantage,Lol).
    Ur blog has encouraged me not to imagine wat pple tink bout me but to make myself happy as that's more important.

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    1. Thank you for the warm comment. I am sincerely humbled.
      Although it might seem difficult however do not let anybody’s comment lower your self esteem or your morale – Your morale must always be between medium and high.
      You are beautifully made, if you want to maintain a certain weight – make sure it is an “healthy weight” (you don’t want to be underweight or overweight – you can use BMI http://www.heartfoundation.org.au/healthy-eating/Pages/bmi-calculator.aspx to calculate this) but most importantly, make sure it is what you want for you.

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  2. Ride on Bill...Nice post. Got me thinking....we actually do not have control of the circumstances surrounding our birth, skin colour, demographics, etc. So i guess it pays nothing to be judgmental. As the Good book put it, we are wonderfully and fearfully made.

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    1. Thanks Chinedu, yes - we do not have to be judgemental

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