This journey!
It is not that they do not care.
It is just that they do not know how to bring up the conversation.
They saw how excited you were when you started the journey.
They saw how sad you were when you were unable to complete it.
They are not sure if bringing it up will trigger you.
They chose to keep quiet out of care.
Some of them will call to have random conversations.
Some of them will avoid calling because they are afraid they will bring it up.
They might not be able to walk a mile in your shoes, but their feet also hurt.
It is not that they do not care.
It is not that they were hiding it.
It is not that they did not value your relationship.
It is just that they want to get to their destination before announcing it.
They have been on this journey before but never got to the destination.
While you cared to ask for the details then.
The details sometimes became overwhelming when shared.
And sharing led to comments like why didn’t you, you should have, next time try. Comments like that sometimes got to them, made them feel inadequate. Some comments open doors they never thought existed.
It is not that they do not care.
It is just that they are also having a hard time.
They do not want to compound yours with theirs, so they kept it to themselves.
Waiting can be daunting.
Waiting can be very emotional.
We all waited for something or someone.
Some of us are still waiting.
Emotionally supporting someone can be exhausting.
Not all emotional supports are verbal.
I have realized that sometimes silence is a form of emotional support.
People care about you, they just have diverse ways of expressing it.
Till next time, switch things up!
- Reach out and ask about their wellbeing(Àbèwò)
- I am here if you need to talk about it. I have found this very powerful if communicated genuinely.
- Accept the fact that people are fighting their "own" battles.
I understand that our culture makes it impossible for you not to inquire about people without sounding like a nosy neighbour. We all strive to show we care irrespective of what you are going through. It is that care that makes us different. I have also try to accept whatever dish people serve me ,and choose what to do with it, eat or keep aside.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, there are some cultural practices that may be invasive. We have to keep unlearning practices that might affect us and others negatively.
DeleteNice write up, i always start it with, i would like to discuss something personal, apologies if it's offends you, and itis okay if you don't want to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteAlso i ask do you just want me to listen so you just pour out your mind and rant if you want to.
Never judge anyone you don't know what they are going through
Never judge anyone, you don't know what they are going through.
Delete- I love the "it is okay if you don't want to talk", it gives the person the power to decline the conversation.
Hmmm!!! This write up is Sooo Deep Sis.
ReplyDeleteThank you for pointing this out.…
God Bless you, it's a must I share this blog post for people to learn from it too..
First, thank you for inspiring me to start this blog.
DeleteAameen, May God bless you too.
Lovely write up. The part that really stuck to me is the fact that people care about you, they just have diverse ways of expressing it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading. I am glad a part was thought provoking for you.
DeleteNice write-up sis!!! so on point
ReplyDeleteYour comment is very thoughtful. Thank you!
DeleteVery nice write up.
ReplyDeleteVery true
Thank you!
DeleteChidi Okafor
ReplyDeleteI always Start as a joke to make you feel warm.
ReplyDeleteMost times a say: you're sad/unhappy and look this beautiful/handsome; Then imagine what's going to happen when you're happy and smiling, I am here to bring that out if you could confide in me.
Most important thing for me is that do people trust you enough to share their secrets, pain, and emotions with you?