Saturday, 11 January 2014


*I have never been guilty of this sha * that you Asake sha...

Solape and Mutiu had been together for 2years, their relationship seems perfect, they never argued or discussed their relationship with anyone. Solape’s birthday was three weeks away; she planned a birthday dinner and was positive Mutiu will pop the question – that was the first time she spoke about her relationship. 2weeks to her birthday, Mutiu broke up with her.
Solape went ahead with her birthday dinner where she introduced her new boyfriend. 2week o!!!! … “Solape, David is definitely your rebound,” I said.. Asake, life is too short to spend more than 24hours thinking about a guy that dumped you.

Asake, I am heartbroken, I left my boyfriend last week, and I feel so lonely" Lade said. "You need to give yourself time to heal, I usually recommend nothing less than 9months" I said.  You can’t be serious. The guy didn’t die, I broke up with him aka we parted ways. Lade said. Nowadays, even people who lose their long term partners don’t mourn for that long” Lade concluded.

Lade started dating at age 17, 5years down the line; she has dated more than 15 guys. Her longest waiting period between relationships is 2months.  I had a lengthy discussion with Lade; she becomes needier after every breakup and decides to date anyone that shows her affection.

Ogo, I can see things are getting better for Bobby o! 3months ago he bought a Corolla Sport 2004 model, now he is driving a 2012 Prado.
Asake, that’s not Bobby parked outside o! Bobby and I broke up last week. Babs had been asking me out for a couple of months , as soon as Bobby said it was over last week, I called Babs to pick me up immediately, since that day Babs  and I have been inseperateable” Ogo said

"Asake, what is your position? Are you the main chic or the side?  Jesse asked. Don’t worry if there are other known chic in the relationship, you just need to ensure you are the Anne Macaulay in the relationship” Jesse said. My brother got married to the side chic after he had a fall out with the main Chic, Alan- Jesse’s best friend said. Don’t bother yourself trying to be the main chic, just make sure he is your assistant boyfriend, trust me you will need one of the “hims” should there be a break-up, it is a quick way to recover.

While in University, one of my friends once told me, I always date two ladies at the same time. My first girlfriend left me shattered and I promised never to have a vacuum after any break up. I never call their names, I address all my girlfriends as babe….KJ said..

 Do you really need space after a break-up? Is it necessary to heal or re-strategize?  Do you need company after a break up?  How should you move on after a break up?

I wish I have answers to these questions but I don’t..

My personal standard doesn’t seem to work for anyone, one of my friends once asked me “Asake, why do you wait for more than 9months when you are not mourning?” the truth is that “waiting period” gave me time to develop myself in a special way and I said to myself if I ever had another waiting period I will do something new and beneficiary again.

I come from a society where quite a number of people believe in God however we neglect His words when it comes to relationship and courtship. What does your scripture say about relationships?

Till next time, guard your heart with all diligence ( in Chaz B's voice)



  1. People are scared of been alone and as such haven't taken time to properly discover themselves. Self happiness is an attribute many people lack especially the ladies which makes it possible for any guy to access them at will especially after a breakup.
    Personally I believe everyone needs some time after a breakup to properly assess self, situation and ensure the next partner is not just a rebound.

    1. *Self happiness is an attribute many people lack* #words!

  2. Wow! Keep it up Asake-Okin......I can see you have really grown

  3. I think its important to take sometime to be alone, asses yourself and the situation. This allows one to grow and learn from ones mistakes....

    1. true..

      Also to prepare for the next one- knowing what i wanted, what i got and why i compromised will enable me prepare for the next one

  4. Break ups to make up

    1. Do we really break up to make-up. I can count the number of people who have broken up- i mean real break up and got back together.. If my count is right, i think it is just one person...