Monday, 31 December 2012

The parent

Sometimes, they live alone, with parents or even squat with friends. They can be single, divorced or widowed.  Not all single parent are women, I once met a single father who took care of his child by himself.

Our society often judge the unmarried ones. They are sometimes tagged as "irresponsible". “Choosing to keep and take care of a child is the highest level of responsibility”- Olayinka O.  For the men, some attained the responsibility of taking care of their kids when their wives left their relationship - walk away or died.

Who remembers Nick Cannon's music video??, the one about his mother walking out of the abortion room after deciding not to abort, Lil' Wayne's how to love video...and the list goes on. Nick Cannon is making his money now, doing well with his shows and married to a talented lady, what if his mother had gotten rid of him?

I remember seeing her daughter's birth certificate; the space for father's name was empty. She hardly spoke about him. I met a couple of Single Parents  in Nairobi. Their kids bear their own surname, not that of their fathers while some bear their father name but they don't know him. I don't think the Kenyan society judge single parenthood as much as we do in Nigeria. Common on, it is not a disease. I heard some religious societies refuse to name children of single parent.

In the past, I had advocated directly or indirectly for pregnant ladies to marry the man responsible for it, but with the rate of separation and divorce of "pregnancy- induced marriages" I no longer advocate for it. There's a reason why God wants "fornicatior" to be given 100 lashes while adulterers are stoned to death, why He wants sex to be strictly in marriage -the bond it creates, the fruit it might bare and other reasons only Him knows.

Couple of people push for marriage once they fall pregnant. If you have to use pregnancy to influence a marriage proposal ,maybe he is not just into you.

Donation of sperm, carrying pregnancy is not an instant ticket to parenthood. Some leave the responsibility for others.

Single handedly raised?? Be thankful for that parent didn't abandon you.


  1. Sincerely dz piece is really 9c,d diff aspects of parenthood nd its analysis, trust me yu can easily visualise everythin nd compare 2 reality. Asake gud 1