ASAKE OKIN

My name is Bilqees, that is the spelling on my birth certificate which was issued 11 days after my birth in the late 80s.  According to Islamic history, it is the name of the Queen of Sheba.  Blessed with different spelling variations, one of the first things my mother told me about my name was if an official document issued to you  is not spelt - B-I-L-Q-E-E-S then that document doesn’t belong to you. Well, I almost got kicked out of primary school because the accountant spelt my name wrongly on the school fees payment receipt and I refused to collect it.  Aunty Maggie, the accountant insisted on not writing me a new one, so I left her office. Some weeks later, I was not allowed on the school premises because I was not with the receipt.  I tried to explain but I was sent home, I am not sure AbdulGaniu (my older brother) realized I was not allowed into the school premises. I went back home and my Grandma (May Allah grant her Al...

This life has all kinds of tests. A smaller test can break one. And a bigger test can prepare one for an upcoming smaller test. Having gone through a bigger test, one might not realize it when one is going through a smaller test. Having gone through a bigger test, one might unintentionally invalidate other people’s experiences by disregarding their struggles. Having gone through a bigger test, one might be ungrateful for “scaling” through a small hurdle.   When I jumped down Moses Mabhida Stadium's(The Big Swing) in 2015, I was super scared of jumping but when I jumped, I didn’t feel any adrenaline rush. Weird right? When I reflected on the fact that I didn’t feel any rush, I concluded it was because I had experienced a “bigger” rush in 2013. A 240km/h rush was a result of being on the fastest roller coaster in the world - Formula Rossa. So, when someone who had been on The Big Swing talks about their adrenaline rush, I cannot relate. Instead of disregarding their exp...

I have called myself an amateur photographer for a long time. If my memory serves me right, I have been calling myself that for 6 years. I am thinking of changing it to DSLR owner – it sounds funky right – I know 😊 . Somedays ago, I stumbled on my first camera. I got it towards the end of Senior Secondary School.   I think a day student helped me to buy it, I do remember my childhood friend Rafiat playing a big role in getting it. It is an analog camera; I took a couple of secondary school graduation pictures with it. I still wonder why I did not include the camera in the list of things I own.   I guess it is time to update my asset register. Well, the first thing I must do is to download it from my brain and keep a soft or hard copy that is accessible to relevant people. My "second" camera was not mine really, it belonged to my Dad, but I used it most of the time till it spoilt.   Well, it did not get spoilt on my watch. My Dad did not want to fix it in Nairobi (the...

As I waited for my turn at the paying till I couldn’t help but hear everything the man behind me was saying on the phone. “Yes, I understand he is ill and on admission, but this update cannot wait. Do you know if he has his laptop with him at the hospital?  He’s one of your best subordinates, those figures should be top of mind, I do not mind an estimate at this time”. He kept talking while I wheeled my shopping cart out of the supermarket. As I was about to judge him, I wondered if I have ever done the same. If there were times, I should have been more compassionate.   Hey, I am not feeling too well. I spoke with the doctor and she recommended some medications. Once the pain subsides, I will log in and attend to important tasks. As I laid in tears, praying for the pain to go away I could not help but think about the meetings I have missed and all the updates I promised to share before COB.   As I was about to judge myself, I wondered what I could have done better to prev...

People told stories of how their Mothers cooked a whole chicken when they attainted womanhood! aka saw their monthly period aka the visitor aka that time of the month. Whatever it is called, you get the gist, right? I was in boarding school, so no one cooked a whole chicken for me, but my friend did celebrate like I won a lottery. It was a tradition back then to celebrate your friend when their period came. People who started their period while on holiday came back to either announce it in the hostel or “display” an unused pad in a manner that sends the message. I can’t remember when I started my period, but I can remember taking sanitary pad to boarding school and “lending” it out with the hope of collecting it back when my period finally started. I never had the opportunity to collect it for some terms, in fact I never collected it back but las las my period came. It came after our teachers and parents had started talking about reproductive system and sexual education. I thought...

Have you ever chatted with someone one day and then the next, the person was dead? At least, I knew my friend was ill because we spoke on the phone a couple of times. It took me a while to forgive myself for not visiting her in the hospital, but I find solace in the fact that we spoke a couple of times. “Asake, it is not possible, I chatted with her yesterday and she said she was fine when I asked her how she was doing. We chat every week and she never mentioned she wasn’t feeling well, she never mentioned she had been on admission for a month. How was I supposed to know she went through a surgery? I thought we were close, I thought we were best of friends…” Yeni kept lamenting with tears in her eyes. Yeni hadn’t spoken with her friend for months but they chatted every week. Tola, her friend went to the hospital for minor surgery (that was what her doctors called appendicitis) but never left the hospital alive. Life of the party, you are out this Saturday again, I commented on Omot...

When I started driving, I had three guiding principles – 1.        Top up my fuel at half tank 2.        Always buy full tank when I drive into a fueling station 3.        When broke, buy fuel - at least I can still move around. Topping up my car at half tank made it easy to mentally calculate the true value of the fuel I bought 😁 (Yeah, I sometimes use excel but I have to know at the pump) One day on my way out, I decided to top up my fuel which was a little above half tank but something weird happened. The cost was over my usual spend and my tank was far from full. I told the station attendant to stop when it was a ₦ 1,000 above my average spend then challenged him. “Madam your gauge might be bad o, “he said. While driving out, I told him he just lost a customer. I wasn’t paying any attention to the fuel meter because I was trying to get out the keg I use to fuel my genera...

Maybe he doesn’t know, but you never asked. Maybe she doesn’t have, but you never asked. You assumed you know her, but her appearance is far from her struggles. You assumed he is happy, but his smile is plastic.  I couldn’t help but notice she wasn’t properly dressed for salaat. I tried to focus on the lecture, but I kept thinking about her. When I finally had the opportunity to speak with her, she said: “I don’t like going to the mosque because people stir at me like I have done something wrong”. I asked her why she was dressed the way she was, but her answer shocked me. “This is the only scarf I have,” she said. A year or a two before that, I had 50 scarfs, it had never crossed my mind that there are people who do not have scarfs for salat. “Asake, she’s fasting but never joins us in congregational prayers. Today, I challenged her, but her response surprised me”, Musa said. “I don’t have a Khimar and our uniform is a short sleeve with jeans, so I pray when I get home” She r...

It’s been a long while.  I have written several posts in my head but it’s a constant battle between what I think I should share on my blog and what I shouldn’t. Not much has changed between my last post and now, but a lot has changed. I am hoping with the post, I encourage myself to write on this blog again. Till next time, don’t give up on yourself

I couldn’t remember the last time I woke up with so much confidence. I knew only one person who had passed it the first time. Those who had passed recently had done it more than once. I was determined to take and pass it the first time. I think I was fixated on passing it the first time. I followed most of my usual routine and I was very sure it would work. The only time it had not worked was when I was emotionally stressed but this time I was emotionally neutral. As I drove to the testing center, I mentally composed my success SMS. Usually, I don’t review my answers once I am done with an examination, but I wanted to ensure I got way higher than 300 and that I had reviewed each and every question more than once. As I raised up my hand to notify the test administrator of my completion, I hurriedly completed the survey so that the congratulatory message can appear. I was thinking of the appropriate time to update my LinkedIn profile when my score appeared - 297 To ...

I cannot remember which match it was but I remember he sped like an Okada. He was one of the reasons I started watching football. I listened to Brilla FM and read Complete sport just to know how he was doing. I spoke about him as if we were related. I remember hurrying out of my GCE Mathematics examination just to watch the World Cup qualifier. Even though he scored twice, we did not qualify. When he moved to England and my team played against his team, I could not decide whether to support Chelsea or Newcastle. When I had the opportunity to travel, I would look around for him at the airport – waiting to get a photograph with him that I can finally put it up with a caption – Guess who was star struck today? @asakeokin 11/2/2017   ___________________________________________ This post was inspired by the @africanwriters February challenge - day 10 title is Star struck. Edited by Lerato

There was no sunshine or moonlight. I am certain there were no stars. I could hear sounds, but it seems far away. It was always dark, and I wanted to leave every day but at the end of the day I find myself exactly where I started. Today I decided to run. I kept running till I reached a dead-end, previously I would have turned back but today, I decided to hit the surface that always prevented me from going further. I thought it was a hard wall and I would get injured but surprisingly it was a wooden door and I broke it down. For the first in a very long time, I watched the sunset, the moon glow and the stars glittering. Today is my new beginning, the day I decided to break the top of every tunnel so that whether it is sunny, the moon is out, or the stars are shining I can always find my new beginning. @asakeokin ___________________________________________ This post was inspired by the @africanwriters February challenge - day 9 title is New beginnings. Thanks to Lerato (blvbo...

I am one of those people who never finish reading a self-help book or a biography but buys them whenever I am going through one of those low moments. I cannot remember when I started following Arese on Instagram, but I think I clicked on her profile from a post Nimi Akinkugbe put up. Arese’s “The Smart Money Woman” book launch/tour flooded my IG timeline frequently, but I thought it was another self-help book and that thought brought back memories of how I struggled to complete “Rich Dad Poor Dad” while in University. I am one of those people who pride myself in saving before spending so when my friend Bukola handed over Arese’s book to me as a late birthday gift, I was wondering what more I can learn.  Click to continue Edited by Lerato Nkanyezi  Ndlovu 

Yaay!! My first personal post of 2016 – Yes, I usually don’t write about myself.   Two weeks ago, I realized I graduated 6 years ago. 6years of absolute change and transformation. When I was leaving University and relocating back home - I had only two goals – two goals I am yet to achieve.  Looking back at the goals, I feel if I had achieved them, I wouldn’t be the better version of myself today; hence, I am very thankful . My life has taught me not to judge people by their “yesterday” and to give them the benefit of a doubt even if they hurt* you because if anyone had judged me by my very subtle past, the person is probably reading the 5 th  edition of a book that now has a 15 th  edition. I remember reading a pre-wedding story on Bellanaija where the husband stated his fiancée used to be a party hopper and he was not that kind of guy, so they went separate ways. Years later when he met her, she was a transformed lady and they are getti...

Do you think you have never walked  the path ? That path you are ashamed to speak about, that path you were the victim at the same time the person to be blamed or that path you initiated someone into thinking it is the right path. Your home became silent with the mention of the path. We all know the path exists, sometimes we know people who have been through the path, we want to speak about it but silent seems like the best form of dialogue Click here to continue reading This post was edited by Fadekemi 

I must have missed the Social Studies class, or I was carried away with my teacher’s eloquence and “poshness” that I didn’t recall whether she taught migration happens willingly or unwillingly. For a very long time, I thought people always migrated willingly.    Click me to continue reading  This post was edited by AOB

In Principle of Finance class, I was taught that the sources of funding include; family and friends (F&F), grants, financial institutions etc. Apart from F&F, other sources might require the borrower to meet certain criteria. (Read up the 5 Cs of credit if you are getting funds from a financial institution.) A couple of weeks ago, I decided to clean-up my internet banking by deleting beneficiaries I did not foresee future transactions with. As I cleaned it up, I realized about 3 or 4 people who promised to payback funds borrowed by month end did not fulfil their promise – 2 out of these people never mentioned anything about the money till date. Click here to continue reading   Edited by AOB

 “Asake, I dread my daughter coming home today, I am going to get all sort of mood from her and it wasn’t my fault. How do I explain it to her that the ATM did not dispense but my account was debited? You see, I bought her siblings books last week but most of hers were not in store, she ran home yesterday excited about her textbook being available and I promised to get it today. This morning after they left home, I decided to withdraw money from the ATM and it didn’t dispense, I walked into the banking hall and I was told it would be reversed in 5 working days.  Before you ask neither my husband nor I have spare money to buy her books; we usually stick to a budget when it comes to their education.  This is school resumption time; everything is tight, no spare money in circulation as most of my friends also have kids in school” Bose said. My name is Asake –Okin and I am cashless. Yes, I am one of those who are cashless to the core as I depend on cash in card 98.5%...