ASAKE OKIN

Maybe he doesn’t know, but you never asked. Maybe she doesn’t have, but you never asked. You assumed you know her, but her appearance is far from her struggles. You assumed he is happy, but his smile is plastic.  I couldn’t help but notice she wasn’t properly dressed for salaat. I tried to focus on the lecture, but I kept thinking about her. When I finally had the opportunity to speak with her, she said: “I don’t like going to the mosque because people stir at me like I have done something wrong”. I asked her why she was dressed the way she was, but her answer shocked me. “This is the only scarf I have,” she said. A year or a two before that, I had 50 scarfs, it had never crossed my mind that there are people who do not have scarfs for salat. “Asake, she’s fasting but never joins us in congregational prayers. Today, I challenged her, but her response surprised me”, Musa said. “I don’t have a Khimar and our uniform is a short sleeve with jeans, so I pray when I get home” She r...

It’s been a long while.  I have written several posts in my head but it’s a constant battle between what I think I should share on my blog and what I shouldn’t. Not much has changed between my last post and now, but a lot has changed. I am hoping with the post, I encourage myself to write on this blog again. Till next time, don’t give up on yourself

I couldn’t remember the last time I woke up with so much confidence. I knew only one person who had passed it the first time. Those who had passed recently had done it more than once. I was determined to take and pass it the first time. I think I was fixated on passing it the first time. I followed most of my usual routine and I was very sure it would work. The only time it had not worked was when I was emotionally stressed but this time I was emotionally neutral. As I drove to the testing center, I mentally composed my success SMS. Usually, I don’t review my answers once I am done with an examination, but I wanted to ensure I got way higher than 300 and that I had reviewed each and every question more than once. As I raised up my hand to notify the test administrator of my completion, I hurriedly completed the survey so that the congratulatory message can appear. I was thinking of the appropriate time to update my LinkedIn profile when my score appeared - 297 To ...

I cannot remember which match it was but I remember he sped like an Okada. He was one of the reasons I started watching football. I listened to Brilla FM and read Complete sport just to know how he was doing. I spoke about him as if we were related. I remember hurrying out of my GCE Mathematics examination just to watch the World Cup qualifier. Even though he scored twice, we did not qualify. When he moved to England and my team played against his team, I could not decide whether to support Chelsea or Newcastle. When I had the opportunity to travel, I would look around for him at the airport – waiting to get a photograph with him that I can finally put it up with a caption – Guess who was star struck today? @asakeokin 11/2/2017   ___________________________________________ This post was inspired by the @africanwriters February challenge - day 10 title is Star struck. Edited by Lerato

There was no sunshine or moonlight. I am certain there were no stars. I could hear sounds, but it seems far away. It was always dark, and I wanted to leave every day but at the end of the day I find myself exactly where I started. Today I decided to run. I kept running till I reached a dead-end, previously I would have turned back but today, I decided to hit the surface that always prevented me from going further. I thought it was a hard wall and I would get injured but surprisingly it was a wooden door and I broke it down. For the first in a very long time, I watched the sunset, the moon glow and the stars glittering. Today is my new beginning, the day I decided to break the top of every tunnel so that whether it is sunny, the moon is out, or the stars are shining I can always find my new beginning. @asakeokin ___________________________________________ This post was inspired by the @africanwriters February challenge - day 9 title is New beginnings. Thanks to Lerato (blvbo...

I am one of those people who never finish reading a self-help book or a biography but buys them whenever I am going through one of those low moments. I cannot remember when I started following Arese on Instagram, but I think I clicked on her profile from a post Nimi Akinkugbe put up. Arese’s “The Smart Money Woman” book launch/tour flooded my IG timeline frequently, but I thought it was another self-help book and that thought brought back memories of how I struggled to complete “Rich Dad Poor Dad” while in University. I am one of those people who pride myself in saving before spending so when my friend Bukola handed over Arese’s book to me as a late birthday gift, I was wondering what more I can learn.  Click to continue Edited by Lerato Nkanyezi  Ndlovu 

Yaay!! My first personal post of 2016 – Yes, I usually don’t write about myself.   Two weeks ago, I realized I graduated 6 years ago. 6years of absolute change and transformation. When I was leaving University and relocating back home - I had only two goals – two goals I am yet to achieve.  Looking back at the goals, I feel if I had achieved them, I wouldn’t be the better version of myself today; hence, I am very thankful . My life has taught me not to judge people by their “yesterday” and to give them the benefit of a doubt even if they hurt* you because if anyone had judged me by my very subtle past, the person is probably reading the 5 th  edition of a book that now has a 15 th  edition. I remember reading a pre-wedding story on Bellanaija where the husband stated his fiancée used to be a party hopper and he was not that kind of guy, so they went separate ways. Years later when he met her, she was a transformed lady and they are getti...

Do you think you have never walked  the path ? That path you are ashamed to speak about, that path you were the victim at the same time the person to be blamed or that path you initiated someone into thinking it is the right path. Your home became silent with the mention of the path. We all know the path exists, sometimes we know people who have been through the path, we want to speak about it but silent seems like the best form of dialogue Click here to continue reading This post was edited by Fadekemi 

I must have missed the Social Studies class, or I was carried away with my teacher’s eloquence and “poshness” that I didn’t recall whether she taught migration happens willingly or unwillingly. For a very long time, I thought people always migrated willingly.    Click me to continue reading  This post was edited by AOB

In Principle of Finance class, I was taught that the sources of funding include; family and friends (F&F), grants, financial institutions etc. Apart from F&F, other sources might require the borrower to meet certain criteria. (Read up the 5 Cs of credit if you are getting funds from a financial institution.) A couple of weeks ago, I decided to clean-up my internet banking by deleting beneficiaries I did not foresee future transactions with. As I cleaned it up, I realized about 3 or 4 people who promised to payback funds borrowed by month end did not fulfil their promise – 2 out of these people never mentioned anything about the money till date. Click here to continue reading   Edited by AOB

 “Asake, I dread my daughter coming home today, I am going to get all sort of mood from her and it wasn’t my fault. How do I explain it to her that the ATM did not dispense but my account was debited? You see, I bought her siblings books last week but most of hers were not in store, she ran home yesterday excited about her textbook being available and I promised to get it today. This morning after they left home, I decided to withdraw money from the ATM and it didn’t dispense, I walked into the banking hall and I was told it would be reversed in 5 working days.  Before you ask neither my husband nor I have spare money to buy her books; we usually stick to a budget when it comes to their education.  This is school resumption time; everything is tight, no spare money in circulation as most of my friends also have kids in school” Bose said. My name is Asake –Okin and I am cashless. Yes, I am one of those who are cashless to the core as I depend on cash in card 98.5%...

“Sade, Sade, Sade” my dad called out. Before I could answer he was already in my room. “Your University is in this country so I cannot say you are jetlagged, why are you not dressed for church?” my dad asked “Daddy, I have attended church service already” I said “Haba Sade, a well brought up Christian child should not tell lies, your car is still parked in front of mine oh, I forgot you landed your jet on the roof abi” my Dad said sarcastically. I laughed and responded “I attended church online” “Really, I told your mother allowing you to go to that Christian University might result in a change of your denomination. My daughter, show some respect, when you are home, attend our church, when you are back in your University, attend your church; thank God you are graduating this year” my dad said Asake, before I could respond, he stormed out of my room screaming Mama Sade, come and hear what your daughter said. I was expecting my mom in my room soon after, but they zoomed out ...

One Friday afternoon, while waiting for my brother to get off work, I decided to have a late lunch at the Fast-food restaurant opposite his office.  After waiting for an hour (I can’t complain, they allowed me to drive his car for weeks), I was on my way to the ladies when I noticed a young couple exercising with their lips, they were passionately engaged that they did not notice passersby and onlookers like me. 30minutes later, the love birds left the restaurant, the girl got into a cab for which the guy brought out his wallet and paid for. Barely 5 minutes later, he waved down a bike and zoomed away. I left the restaurant shortly after this, on getting to the bus-stop at the end of the long street; I saw him trekking then he got into a public bus known as Danfo.   This event brought back memories, memories of my secondary school days when a boy will buy 1 Pie and 1 Yogurt for a girl then buy himself 1 Puff-Puff 1 Zobo. Can you remember any story of where you ha...

“Haba!, Asake, why do we do this? I am not a diva but I am #Teamwindowseat and only a matter of life or death can make me switch seats. Sometimes last year, I took a 16hours flight and 10 minutes into it, the lady sitting next to me in the middle seat asked if I could swap seats with her husband who was also sitting in the middle seat but on the next row. Sadly, I turned down her request. I felt bad throughout the flight that I separated a couple as the lady was constantly turning back. Asake, I have changed flight before because there was no window seat available. Window seats are my comfort zone” KB narrated. Just like KB, I am also #Teamwindowseat. Several weeks ago, I had the opportunity of flying and on getting to my window seat, it was already occupied. A man with his kids were sitting on my row and upon informing him his daughter was sitting on my seat, he told me to speak with the airhostess who informed me he gave my seat out then pointed to a middle seat with no apol...

Today’s marriages sometimes seem like for better for stay, for worse for go, till sex, cash and battering do you apart. Every 7days, you are constantly reminded that your relationship status is unmarried. Another weekend is around the corner; don’t get overwhelmed with the HML updates. Sometimes, I feel like I am the only unmarried person around. Asake, when are you getting married? Is there a new Bobo? Asake, why are you hiding him? Asake, you better lower that your standards. The pressure to settle down has been immense and trust mother to keep including it in her prayer points. “I want to settle down after University” Lucy told her boyfriend but he asked her to give him 5years when he would have raised enough money for their wedding ceremony and for starting a family. His target is $70,000 but he currently earns approximately $1000 per month in Nigerian Naira. Haba how persin go dey plan for $70,000 wedding when e no fit even afford car. “Asake, I love this girl, she i...

Another calendar year just went by, it is possible you experienced some ups and downs; take the lessons and move on with life. For lots of people, a new year gives an opportunity to start on a clean sheet; it is not about starting over again, it is about improving your life. I learnt something last year, about goal setting, write down all the roles you play in life and try as much as possible to put in goals that will have an impact on those roles. Example of roles I play – a daughter, a sister, an aunt, an employee, a best friend,   a blogger and an amateur photographer-   it is difficult to set goals for all the roles you play so pick   3 or 4 most important ones and work on it per quarter or biannually. Goals do not have to be rocket science- it can be as simple as “improve communication with my spouse” by spending at least 10 minutes a day listening to him speak about his day (cheeky abi ) 2015 is an election year in Nigeria, for those who will be participating, ...

Always warm, always welcoming. This is how I remember her. She was one of those people who was neither a client nor a business associate but I always bumped into her at least once in two weeks at a café very close to my place of work. Shaba, how are you doing today? You look a bit tired? I said. “Asake, I have been battling with flu for almost two weeks. I have taken medications and homemade remedies, yet no improvement” Shaba said. “Maybe you should see a doctor,” I said. Very unusual, I bumped into her the following Monday and I enquired about her health. She had not been to the hospital because she had exhausted her medical aid for the month and payday was 4days away. “Four days? That is a long time, why don’t you go tomorrow or on Wednesday, I will give you a loan till payday” I said.  Thanks, Asake but if I take any day off, it will be deducted from my leave days. I have planned this year’s leave with my daughter” Shaba said. That was the last time I saw her. Th...

Have you ever felt guilty after reading a post? After reading a deep religious post, I sometimes feel guilty and reassess my relationship with my maker. However, a few weeks ago, I felt guilty after reading a non-religious post .  "I am very sorry for calling you fat girl," I wrote to my friend. "No problem dear," she said. We kept chatting, and I told her why I apologized. She was surprised it had nothing to do with Ramadan. The apology was inspired by the  post .  We often joked about her weight, I call her fat girl, and we usually laugh about it.  My friend reached out to me a couple of months ago about size; she has gained significant weight since she started working. She had tried different types of diet, but none worked. I think the weight gain suits her more than her previous "stringo" size.  She has always been chubby. As a child, she was bigger than her older sister. Although I am taller than her, we wear the exact size of clothes.   One d...

Several weeks ago, my   alma mater   had an unmasking ceremony to unveil her new branding- Yebo!   We have gone Africa!!!!!     J    Having stubbed on the pictures of the event on Facebook and seeing a couple of familiar faces, I had the urge to drive down memory lane which I did by browsing through my photo albums on Facebook. Being a picture person allowed the drive to be smooth although it was filled with lots of emotions- the good and the bad, no ugly moments.  As I browsed through some pictures, I checked out couple of people’s profile and I learnt one of my favorite prayers of all time:   My Lord, teach me never to underestimate anyone.   Although I learnt never to underestimate anyone couple of years ago when a particular person from my secondary school who was considered a poor student academically passed WAEC, JAMB and post -JAMB then got admission into a Federal University before a large percentage of the academic...