ASAKE OKIN

Have you ever felt guilty after reading a post? After reading a deep religious post, I sometimes feel guilty and reassess my relationship with my maker. However, a few weeks ago, I felt guilty after reading a non-religious post .  "I am very sorry for calling you fat girl," I wrote to my friend. "No problem dear," she said. We kept chatting, and I told her why I apologized. She was surprised it had nothing to do with Ramadan. The apology was inspired by the  post .  We often joked about her weight, I call her fat girl, and we usually laugh about it.  My friend reached out to me a couple of months ago about size; she has gained significant weight since she started working. She had tried different types of diet, but none worked. I think the weight gain suits her more than her previous "stringo" size.  She has always been chubby. As a child, she was bigger than her older sister. Although I am taller than her, we wear the exact size of clothes.   One d...

Several weeks ago, my   alma mater   had an unmasking ceremony to unveil her new branding- Yebo!   We have gone Africa!!!!!     J    Having stubbed on the pictures of the event on Facebook and seeing a couple of familiar faces, I had the urge to drive down memory lane which I did by browsing through my photo albums on Facebook. Being a picture person allowed the drive to be smooth although it was filled with lots of emotions- the good and the bad, no ugly moments.  As I browsed through some pictures, I checked out couple of people’s profile and I learnt one of my favorite prayers of all time:   My Lord, teach me never to underestimate anyone.   Although I learnt never to underestimate anyone couple of years ago when a particular person from my secondary school who was considered a poor student academically passed WAEC, JAMB and post -JAMB then got admission into a Federal University before a large percentage of the academic...

As I saw the car parked in front of their house, I knew it would be picking one of them.  As she approached their gate, I noticed how simple but elegantly dressed she was.  Even though I watched the car zoom off, it was her outfit I kept thinking of. As usual, I went visiting the next day, our folks have been friends before I was born and anytime my folks needed to send me on “the errand of no return” popularly known as Arodan in Yoruba, I was sent to their house. “Are you here for Arodan?” my Aunt asked, before I could respond she continued “go to the girls’ room, Fao is  looking for you" B, how are you today? Fao said “I love what you wore yesterday” I responded. Pardon my manners, good afternoon sis” I concluded “Really, you can have it” she said. She opened her wardrobe and brought out others, yes you can have them too. From that day till S.G came to whisk her away, she always gave me clothes. She taught me a simple lesson,  as long as they ...

Sometimes, I wonder if the laws of Nigeria is for selected few. As long as I leave home, I see atleast one person flouting the law most especially the uniform officers, we know the regular culprit. Two weekends ago, I had gone to the vulcanizer to pick up my car when I noticed a car blocking the entrance to our street gate.   Thinking it was someone shopping in the supermarket next door, I asked the security personnel to help check. He came back with a negative answer. After waiting a few more minutes, I walked home to pick up my phone with the intention of calling a towing vehicle to move the car. On getting back to the car, I met an elderly woman, greeted her and told her about my intention of getting the car towed since all my effort to reach the owner was fruitless. Her response shocked me. “I worked at the local government, and if you had towed my car, I would have ensured every car on your street is towed and impounded” She said I was shocke...

Recently I was discussing with a friend of mine that the new pick up line in Lagos is “What is your genotype?” Initially, it felt like a random question but in the last couple of months, it has become rampant. During our first conversation, a guy inquired about my genotype before asking about other personal details like age, relationship status, employment status, family size and the list goes on. A friend’s best-friend was looking to settle down with someone other than his girlfriend of 10 years because his girlfriend, like him, was AS. We got talking one day and he asked for my genotype. As soon as I responded, he wanted to know whether I was willing to settle down. “But Amina is your girlfriend” Click here to continue  

*I have never been guilty of this sha * that you Asake sha... Solape and Mutiu had been together for 2years, their relationship seems perfect, they never argued or discussed their relationship with anyone. Solape’s birthday was three weeks away; she planned a birthday dinner and was positive Mutiu will pop the question – that was the first time she spoke about her relationship. 2weeks to her birthday, Mutiu broke up with her. Solape went ahead with her birthday dinner where she introduced her new boyfriend. 2week o!!!! … “Solape, David is definitely your rebound,” I said.. Asake, life is too short to spend more than 24hours thinking about a guy that dumped you. Asake, I am heartbroken, I left my boyfriend last week, and I feel so lonely" Lade said. "You need to give yourself time to heal, I usually recommend nothing less than 9months" I said.   You can’t be serious. The guy didn’t die, I broke up with him aka we parted ways. Lade said. Nowadays, even people who l...

I couldn’t believe someone said something like that. I thought it only happens in Nollywood movies. When he walked up to me, I was expecting him to ask for his "owo odun" but he didn't. He wanted to discuss something with me, very unlike me, I listened.. 'Hmmm ehnn Miss Asake, my wife put to bed this morning' He said. Really??? Yes she did. He said. "Congrats o!!! Na to come chop rice be that" I said.   A new born baby, why is this man not excited? Maybe he's owing the hospital?. or his wife has complications? Different scenarios played out in my head   As if he knew what was going on in my head, he said "She gave birth to another girl" Can you believe that is the 4th girl?" he added.... I was shocked.  I wasn't shocking because it is 4th child but with his demeanor. He lamented bitterly on having a girl again, all he wanted was a boy. He was positive his wife cannot give birth to a boy again.   Why s...

Stop the fronting(Nigerian Slang); let me send you on a date. Although a lot of us try to deny it, it sometimes sucks being single... In the past 5years, I think I have been more single than in a relationship. That's me, some say my taste is too high, while others say I should lower my standard. To me, they are saying the same thing. While on holiday in Na, I listened to Toke Makinwa's vlog Xmas in Naija....Time to find a man sharp, sharp with a couple of friends, the following day we went to a wedding and she got a man who has not only taken her on a first date but the second one is around the corner. Since it worked for her, I am going to do something untraditional. Send someone out on an all expenses paid date in a nice restaurant, don't worry the bill is on the date :-)  if you are not in Nigeria, your date can skype you while the meal will be delivered to you.   Wait a minute offers like that don't come easily so  below are my criteria for selecting the lucky...

While on vacation, I dropped by a friend's place with a mutual friend of mine.   We got chatting with her mum and the usual question (when are you getting married) came up. We were very quick to answer -we are praying about it ma. “How do you pray about it? Do you have a list? "her mum asked. A list? "Yes girls you need a list of things you desire in your future husband. This list will be used as prayer points. When praying about it don't forget to find yourself in locations where such men exist." She concluded.   I used to think I knew everything I wanted in my future husband however it’s been difficult writing the list.   Till next time, jot down what you desire in your future spouse...

Asake is becoming a psychologist… lol.. Just a talk buddy! I would never have imagined that people would discuss their relationships with me after reading a post on my blog. When I wrote my last post Kwanza Keji , three of my friends were positive I wrote their stories, funny enough I knew just one story and could not write about it because I would cry… She has been through a lot, most people go through alot, their ways of handling it differs May your road be rough   that seems to be the only phrase I remember from six years of reading six different Practical English course books No journey is smooth not even on a private jet flight as your prediction on the weather condition or pilot’s mood wouldn’t be 100% Everyone has their fair share of rough patches, heartbreak, penniless, even those born in a rich home, those who married their first love, and those who got pregnant after their wedding ceremony. We don’t have it all… Love your creator, Love yourself. According to I...

First of all, go down low... Couple of months ago, I wrote about making the first move in Kwanza and now…… Born in a country where men making the first move is the norm ( I mean guy toasting the girl ). I have always waited for the guy to ask me out. 90% guys I really like end up not asking me out. When the ones you don’t like ask you out and you turn them down, some say you are too choosy Few months ago, I met an amazing guy, You know those forever-like kind of guy ? We instantly clicked and I am certain we will make a good couple. It has been 8months and 16days, he hasn't made a move. Asake, do you think I should ask him out? Till next time, don’t be afraid to make the first move, it is either a “yes or a no” don’t settle for maybe. Kwanza: means first Keji: means two or second.

It started like a joke, initially we didn't take it serious but later we couldn't control it, we became inseparable, there was hardly anyone who didn't know we were together even if they had met only one of us, we thought the same way, talked the same way, I was his common sense. I taught him all he knew about relationship and He taught me patience. The road was smooth, each time we had an argument or misunderstanding as soon as we sighted one another, the misunderstanding was over. I was always quick to beg because he was a novice in relationships, then one day we had a major argument, he walked out and none of us was ready to resolve or take the blame( in Akon voice) a week turned to two, three, four then five. Before the argument I was bereaved and he didn't understand, all he wanted was my attention which I couldn't give him. It boils back to experience. I called him up one day, to inform him I was travelling to Chicago the next day. He was shocked I was a...

It seemed like a burden which was greater that what their soul could bear but Allah is the Master plan. The story of Ibrahim, Sarah, Hajar, and Ismail taught me a lot of things Faith, Obedience, Trust and Hardwork. When the workload, relationship and life looks too hard, remember Ibrahim was thrown into the fire, Ismail was about to be sacrificed by his father, Sarah had given up on having a child, Hajar was left with her little boy in the barren land. Did He not cool the fire for Ibrahim? Did He not replace sacrificing Ismail with a ram? Did He not bless Sarah with Ishaq? Did He not provide water(Zamzam) for Hajar and Ismail in a barren land. Having challenges? Don't give up, remember we shall all be tested. Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than what we have the strength to bear. Eid- Mubarak

Gone are those days when most mothers I knew (with the inclusion of mine) were civil servants. This gave them time to be 'home-markers'. Nowadays, some husbands and wives spend equal amount of time at work leaving their kids in care of nanny or granny. Food is usually prepared during the weekends, dished in the freezer and microwaved on need basis. One of my fasting days, I got home extremely tired. Since I was fasting I decided to pick my lunch from the canteen with the intention of using it as dinner. While speaking with my friend on the phone, he asked what I planned fasting with the next day and my response was Garri or water. He laughed and suggested I used noodles. I told him I didn't like the flavour I had at home. Go and buy another flavour" he suggested. I am too tired to stand up, I said. "What if you were married and your husband wanted dinner tonight nko?" He asked. And I responded “I will tell him I am too tired tonight". He go...

Don't use someone's wealth or situation as your prayer point, God might have something better for you. Kai, Asake has gone spiritual..But the quote above is very true. A lot of people use someone's situation as their prayer point, not knowing how the person got his wealth and what the future holds for the person. As a child, I saw the very rich and the not so rich. Now as an adult, I have seen the not so rich transform into very rich. There's a point in life when people struggle. There's also a point in life when people reap. I once watched a Yoruba movie where 2 out of 3friends became very rich. The rich ones kept loosing family members and were convinced the poor one was using Vodoo on them. What happened? Some years back, they walked by a big mansion and they prayed to God to bless them as he blessed the owner of the mansion. While the 3rd one said Let God bless him the way God wants. Guess what? Two of them were blessed just like the owner of the man...

I have always heard the word but it didn't capture my attention till someone was convicted and executed for murder. When the family of the slan man was asked how they felt about the death penalty, the mother said "closure" - knowing fully well that her son's killer is finally gone and she can walk freely without the fear of bumping into him. She attended the lethal injection judgement to be sure the accused died. A friend of mine has an amazing boyfriend who she never seize to display his pictures on her dp and brag about anytime we hung out. Earlier in the year, I had two tickets for a lovey dovey musical event which I wasn't interested in, since she is in a relationship I decided to pass it on to her, "my boyfriend is out of town" she said. I gave out the tickets. For some unexplainable reason, I had to be at the event then I bumped into her boyfriend with another chic. My brain wasn't too quick to process who he was till she pinged me, "I h...

First of all, go down low. There are many first in our lives. First born, first boyfriend, first position in class, first to reach the finish line and also first to go down low. "Asake, you can't keep pinging him. If he's interested or if he misses you he will surely come around, if he doesn't then let him be." Lolu said. "Bilqees there has to be a balance, if you are the one always communicating, be ready to continue that if you get married.  If he can't meet you at the midpoint, then maybe you should just let go" Chi said. I remember putting up "if he's not meeting you at the midpoint, you need to rethink your relationship" as personal message on my BBM. It generated lots of ping but Debola’s ping was very different. He asked “U r qualified to give relationship advice because?" My response- Haven't you noticed divorcée give the best relationship advice. "No they don't, they tend to give stupid advices that...

I wrote a different post with this title, it was one of the post referred to in no backup   I am sure today's post is a Taboo to a lot, kindly accept my heartfelt apologies if you go ahead with the post I sat with her today, we had ice-cream. Ice-cream? “Is she heartbroken?” He asked. “Yes, I don't understand why he keeps behaving like this” I said “Is she feeding him?”He asked. “Trust my friend now, she's top chef of Lagos o!” I replied “ Asake!!, I am not taking about food o? Is she sleeping with him?” He asked “Haba Babe, you know her, don't touch my body jo jo. She’s not sleeping with him. I am very sure she’s not sleeping with him” I responded “Yawa, he's either eating out or about to eat out? Has she found out how important sex is to him?” He asked. “They fight whenever she sleeps over, he feels she's depriving him of his property. He keeps saying he owns it now and forever. I wonder why he can't just propose to her, I ...

We usually do a lot of shopping – shoes, clothes, groceries, make-up, weaves, bags, boyfriends and even husband. Sometimes, Yoruba people say– May your husband not be just a boyfriend and vice versa. It means May you marry the right person...   All I know is one girl’s boyfriend will be another girl’s husband. For a couple of weekends, we engaged in window shopping for cars and the “a single girl can’t get this car or that car always pops up”. I love the RAV4 - I said. You will have to wait till you get married, your husband will buy and handle the maintenance cost another person said. My friend, if you buy this car, what do you expect your boyfriend to drive? I was asked.   To get a good man, you have to tone down oo!   I had to change my car to a smaller one, a friend confessed. This is serious business o. An unmarried girl has to remain humble car-wise – Kai , Asake, hope you won’t carry last o!!!! Lol I understand a sizeable number of guys have complexes but I...