Àbèwò

Have you ever chatted with someone one day and then the next, the person was dead? At least, I knew my friend was ill because we spoke on the phone a couple of times. It took me a while to forgive myself for not visiting her in the hospital, but I find solace in the fact that we spoke a couple of times.

“Asake, it is not possible, I chatted with her yesterday and she said she was fine when I asked her how she was doing. We chat every week and she never mentioned she wasn’t feeling well, she never mentioned she had been on admission for a month. How was I supposed to know she went through a surgery? I thought we were close, I thought we were best of friends…” Yeni kept lamenting with tears in her eyes. Yeni hadn’t spoken with her friend for months but they chatted every week. Tola, her friend went to the hospital for minor surgery (that was what her doctors called appendicitis) but never left the hospital alive.

Life of the party, you are out this Saturday again, I commented on Omotoke’s WhatsApp update. “Which party? Don’t be deceived, I am just bored, I am waiting for the Doctor to discharge me” Omotoke said.

Doctor? I asked.

“Yes Asake, I was admitted on Tuesday, in fact, I was rushed here from my office” Omotoke said, while she was explaining her prognosis, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself because on Thursday I wished  I was with Omotoke when she uploaded the image of legs while on the beach with “chilling” as the caption. I kept on saying to myself, you work too hard, instead of you to take some leave days to chill by the beach like Omotoke. If only I knew.

A while ago, I was having what I thought was a very good chat with my friend but since we hadn’t spoken in a while, I decided to continue the conversation as a voice call. The moment I asked how she was doing; she broke down and in tears explained what she is going through which was different from the happy vibe I got from our initial chat. 

Some weeks ago, my eldest brother called me and could sense something in my voice, he asked how I was doing, and I said fine. He called back the next day just to gist with me but deep down, I knew he was checking up on me to ensure my mood had either changed or I was willing to talk.

 As life gets busier, we often send short or quick messages in form of texts or chats to our loved ones. We tend to assume their happy social media update reflect their reality, we call less and visit lesser. You might not be able to visit all your loved ones in a year but try to call them at least once in 6 months – what you have missed might amaze you.

 Till next time, do one voice call

 Abewo means “checking up on someone”

 This post was edited by Dolapo Ajayi